By REDintern Christy Ong

Singapore Grand Prix

An In-vehicle Unit should have minimal impact on the performance of these sophisticated machines. (Photo © Van/Red Sports)

Singapore has done it again. We set yet another record. We made history by hosting the first night race ever in F1 history.

However, despite all this novelty surrounding the Singapore Grand Prix – F1 is hardly uniquely Singapore. Heck, even our closest neighbour beat us to hosting it first. Let’s be honest – the Singapore Grand Prix is for attracting foreigners to boost the tourism industry. We are all for that. Nonetheless, it would be interesting to introduce some of our very own Singaporean traits to attract heartlanders.

1. Introduce license plates for the F1 cars
We all love to see a crash at F1. And, we all know why Singaporeans clamour for a car accident – to get the four digits off the license plates and proceed to buy 4D. Introduce license plates, and we think you might just increase the level of interest of the man in the street.

Foreign media caption of picture: “Singaporean crowd look on with concern at the race accident.”
Singaporean media caption of picture: “Singaporean crowd look on with concern at the licence plate number at the race accident.”

2. Give out free goodies bags
Singaporeans love everything free under the sun and are willing to queue up to hours for it. With first-come-first-serve goodies bags, Singapore might just create another record for F1.

Foreign media caption of picture: “Excited Singaporeans queue up overnight just to watch F1.”
Singaporean media caption of picture: “Excited Singaporeans queue up overnight just to collect goodie bags at F1.”

3. Create a race for our taxi drivers
You have the Aston Martin Asia Cup, the Formula BMW Pacific and the Porsche Carrera Cup Asia, three support races before the F1 race. Why shouldn’t we have the Careening Comfort Cab Race? Or the TIBS Terror Race? Or the Suicidal SMRT Cab Race? Let the taxi drivers do what they already do on our roads. And for those who have lost a certain zest for life, let them recapture it by riding in the back of the cab.

4. Have F1 Merlions instead of F1 teddies
One of the thing that amused me the most was that we had F1 teddies instead of F1 Merlions. What do teddy bears have to do with Singapore? Nothing. Replace them with Merlions and Singaporeans will have a unique time telling foreigners, “A Merlion? It’s an animal with a lion head and fish body. You are asking whether it’s real? Of course it’s real – in our heads. The Merlion is also a symbol protected under the Singapore Tourism Board Act. If it wasn’t protected, Singaporeans would have exterminated it a long time ago.”

5. Install ERP gantries and in-vehicle units (IU) on F1 cars
How is it that all 900,000 Singaporean vehicles are subject by law to IUs and ERP gantries, while 20 speeding cars from out of town are granted an exception right in the heart of the city. To recoup the SGD90m that the Singapore government will be forking out every year to host the race, we think gantries should be installed at the start/finish point. Each pass will cost SGD75,000. 20 cars doing 61 laps each will bring in SGD91.5m (we should always aim to make a profit, however modest). Every time an F1 car goes under the gantry, the beep should be amplified and the charge flashed onscreen. The sheer compassion (or more likely Schadenfreude) felt by Singaporean viewers will surely up the emotional resonance of this fine event.

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