Stomping exceptions or supporting excellence?

Contributed by reader Poh Yu Khing

The mainstream press came looking for Kang Yee Cher again on the final day of the Inter-Primary Track and Field Championship. (Photo © Leslie Tan/Red Sports)

For those of us who have been following the Singapore sporting scene, we would know about Kang Yee Cher. He is the primary school boy who is taller and stronger than his peers, and breaking all the national school’s track and field records.

What saddens me is nothing to do with Yee Cher, but rather the actions and behaviour of some parents of the other kids at the track and field meet. They were jeering at him, calling him a cheat and all kinds of other rude names. Such behaviour from parents is appalling. If there was a ‘driving license’ equivalent for parenting, I would confiscate the ‘parenting license’ from these parents. Why do I feel so strongly about this?

Firstly, the parents are there to support their children in sports. Isn’t the main reason for kids to take part in sports to learn sportsmanship, and character values such as respect? Well, I think the parents who jeered have totally missed the point then. They are certainly themselves not practicing sportsmanship, and to make things worse, being an extremely bad example to not only their own children, but all other children at the meet. These children will now learn that anytime they think something is unfair (even if they do not have evidence), then perhaps they could treat the ‘victim’ in a nasty way.

To all the kids and youths who might be reading this article, allow me to say that this is not the way to behave. Not in sports, not outside of sports, and not in life. If you feel that something is not fair or not right, it’s OK to question, to appeal, to register your concern in a proper way. But until such time that there is evidence, you should not ridicule, make fun of, or put down the other person in question. In fact, even if he/she is found ‘guilty’, you should still treat them with respect. Why? Well, wouldn’t all of us, sometime, someday, appreciate the forgiveness and respect when we have done something wrong ourselves?

The second reason, and more important reason why I’m disturbed by the jeering parents is the larger implication of whether as a society, do we have the mentality of ‘stomping exceptions’, or ‘supporting excellence’? When someone is different, exceptional, do we give them the benefit of the doubt, and support them to achieve higher and higher levels of excellence, or do we immediately conclude (without evidence) that the person must be cheating and thus stomp them down?

We’ve heard often enough that Singapore has nothing except for its people. If we do to others what the jeering parents did to Yee Cher, we would effectively be cutting everybody down to mediocrity and being average. In psychology, the study of ‘collectivism’ in culture and society has a phrase along the lines that ‘the nail that sticks out gets hammered back in’. Everyone becomes one and the same, operating at the same ‘average’ level. Certainly this is not what we want for our kids growing up in Singapore. If the jeering parents had their own children who were ‘exceptional’, I wonder whether they would jeer at their own child.

I think we should encourage the exceptions, to support every ounce of talent they have towards excellence. We should be encouraging them to break records that would stand for generations to come. Look at Tiger Woods, he has broken almost every golfing record, and is still pursuing Jack Nicholas record of 18 majors. If in his younger days, he was continuously being jeered at, would he have reached where he is today? I believe not.

So let us not expect everyone to be average, mediocre, and plain normal. Let us embrace differences and encourage exceptions, support talent, and help our young ones fly and pursue their dreams. Think, if Yee Cher was your child, what would you do…

Related story:
Track and Field sensation Kang Yee Cher of Fuhua Primary breaks age-group long jump record

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